


Set sail from sense

by GingerHoran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love, mention of Josh, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:32:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerHoran/pseuds/GingerHoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I should kiss him, get it over with. You know, because in the future I’ll just regret the decision and I’m asking your permission, you can say no, no pressure at all.” Liam says, and Zayn has a feeling he’s choosing his words carefully, because the situation is one that’s pretty messed up and they’re sorting it out in a pretty messed up way.</p><p>or where Liam thinks Niall is pretty, and Zayn suggests kissing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Set sail from sense

**Author's Note:**

  * For [masterchance05](https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterchance05/gifts).



> My first Niam, well sorta, because well, can't say that Olly didn't help in anyway for me to not fall in love with every niall ship possible. 
> 
> Thanks Olly, this is for being a perfect babe and always being amazing. 
> 
> Love you.

  
Liam asks Zayn first because he really _isn't_ that rude, of course not because he grew up with impeccably fine manners _thank you very much_ , plus he knows his boundaries and he doesn't want things to become too awkward.   
  
Where these fantasies came from Liam really doesn't know, he's usually rational and simple minded- and well _Liam_. But then Niall came along all glossy eyed and new like a shining porcelain doll that Liam couldn't wait to play with, but he was off limits, out of bounds, almost trapped in a glass cabinet to just be stared at.   
  
/  
  
It was very possible that Liam was losing his sanity, he didn't plan for Zayn drag him out of their dorm room at nine for some: "Well deserved partying, you saddo." And there really are times like this where Liam appreciates childhood friendships- gladly taken insults is definitely a perk.   
  
The pub was rowdy for a Friday, all drunken clusters of college boys in the experiment stage and soppy couples snogging near the bathroom, and how happy Liam is that Zayn doesn't do long-term relationships.   
  
But of course he's proven wrong when Zayn orders two beers at the bar, throwing Liam an almost glowing smile when he walks over to a particularly full booth at the end corner of the pub. Liam shrugs thinking that Zayn is being unusually spontaneous, the boy is very hard to get your head round even, if like Liam, you've been friends since sand boxes and play dates.   
  
Some of the people look vaguely familiar, Liam thinks he's seen a handful of them wandering around campus or hanging in the old coffee shop in the quad, none of them particularly sticking out to him. But then there's a loud laugh from behind him, and of bounces off the walls and comes right back round, hitting everyone on the table and making a smile that Liam has _never_ seen to appear on Zayn's face.   
  
The boy is nothing short of spectacular, hair peeking out from beneath a red snapback, dirty blond and surfer _dude-ish_ , face flushed and eyes so electric blue that Liam sees the ocean rolling within them.   
  
"Hi," this unnamed boy says hand extended and smile white and contagious that Liam pauses for a moment taking it all in, because he's not gotten a crush this quick since he was twelve, and of course that doesn't count.   
  
"This is my mate Liam, be warned he's not the most talkative person," Zayn says with a coy smirk and Liam feels like thwacking him over the head, he's known him long enough for it to be a normal occurrence, for the heavy hand to be pretty familiar to Zayn.   
  
Liam, instead, keeps his mouth shut and just waves shyly and a little awkwardly, ignoring his no drinking rule to pick up a beer discarded on the table and take a large gulp.   
  
Zayn throws him a short look as he takes a seat opposite: _‘you're supposed to be driving, you_ _dick_ ’. He all but mouths, eyes tight in annoyance but Liam shrugs it off with another sip of beer.   
  
He takes a seat beside a shot brunet boy, smile confident and sharp and eyes blurred with a few too many beers: "M' Josh," he introduces a sticky hand shoved forward which Liam shakes gladly, a lull of conversation washing over the whole table like a tidal.   
  
Liam leans forward on the chair his fingers running over his bottom lip as voices murmured to his left and right, he had a feeling that Josh was ranting on about something, a very one-sided conversation as Liam focuses his attention solely on something else. That something else being the blond boy opposite, downing beers like no tomorrow eyes becoming hazy with drunkenness relatively quickly.   
  
Liam still doesn't even know his name, but he's so fascinating already, and Liam blames it on the fact that's he's a complete _sucker_ for pretty things and that he's perpetually alone.   
  
He tilts his head slightly as Zayn leans in to whisper something into his ear, the way a red shimmer went south across his neck was a complete giveaway and it made Liam's heart sink deep into his chest.   
  
"What's his name?" Liam finds himself asking pointing not so politely at the blond boy, and Josh chuckles deeply alongside another sip of beer.   
  
"That's Niall." He says as if nothing before quickly getting back to whatever he was blabbering on about- _maybe it's music or something_ \- but Liam's not interested but is rather counting the eyelashes framing Niall's pretty blue eyes as he rolls his beer bottle between his fingers.   
  
What a pretty name. 

 _Niall. Niall. Niall._    
  
/  
  
After that is all just smashes together like a crappy television drama, the inevitable happens and Liam's being stabbed in the heart over and over again every night. Zayn takes Niall on only three dates and then everything's official, but they aren't overly affectionate instead private and personal.   
  
That only leaves things to Liam's imagination.   
  
There's a knock on the door one Friday evening, and Liam should clearly be prepared for whose there but he's far too interested in the documentary rolling on the television, once he opens the door, however, he immediately regrets the decision of becoming far too invested.   
  
Niall's hair is rumpled and messy along his forehead, his waist narrowed out in a washed out band tee paired with baggy black jogging bottoms, and Liam thinks he looks good _, really good_ , so good in fact that he forgets to say anything and just stares.   
  
"Liam?" Zayn crows from behind, and Liam chuckles awkwardly running a hand across his hair before turning to leave the hallway. A heavy hand on his shoulder stops him, a pair of warm blue oceans staring straight at him, making his heart miss a few beats.   
  
"We're going to the cinema, watching some shitty horror," Niall laughs knocking Zayn playfully  
on the shoulder." You wanna come?"   
  
"I'm not sure, I've got stuff to do, you know? Essays and stuff." Liam stutters out, blushing mid-sentence at how utterly ridiculous he sounds.   
  
Zayn huffs out a frustrated laugh. "God Liam, c'mon don't be such a _pussy_ yeah? Scared of a little horror flick?"   
  
The teasing throws Liam to the edge, and this is where the usual play fighting would begin between them but he retreats quickly not wanting to embarrass himself in front of Niall who’s looking cutely quizzical.   
  
"No," he says again but then Liam's being tugged by his elbow out of the dorm room and shoved into a taxi.   
  
The cinema lights go down and Liam feels slightly rigid and tight, it's not awkward per se as Zayn and Niall are showing close to zero amounts of affection to each other but Liam manages to see it anyway, that hand that Zayn's got resting on Niall's knee like an anchor to keep it from shaking; the way Niall turns to just glance at him every few minutes, it's all the little things Liam seems to notice and it's _ultimately_ worse than anything else.   
  
The films taking a while to set in and even by the end he couldn't _chance_ a guess at what actually happened, Zayn on the other hand is laughing hard by the end of it presumably at the fact that the cliché dumb blond turns out to be the killer: "A mix up to the usual happenings," he laughs as if reason, and Niall's simply finishing up the rest of the popcorn, the way his jaw clenches and relaxes as he chews is setting Liams stomach on fire and he realises he needs to _stop_ whatever is going on.   
  
The car journey home is loud and Liam lacks the energy to find it awkward, because Zayn is pulsing the bass and it's vibrating the seats and it comes back the Liam's knowledge that Zayn likes any type of music, it's an illusion because you start thinking he's an RnB sort of guy but then he starts playing the strokes and jay z and you're completely lost. 

Liam blames it on the fact that growing up Zayn prided himself in listening to a new song every day, claimed to have the ear for really great music, Liam _never_ disputed this and now they're lost.   
  
Niall seems the opposite in Liam's opinion, although he's wondering why he's actually trusting himself right now, he seems like a plain sort of guy, pretty careless and dirty-mouthed, a teenage boy in a box and it's so expected that it's _weird_ because how can someone just tick all the boxes, Liam thinks he should really have his name printed in the dictionary.   
  
  
"Thanks for letting me join you, it was really great. Movie was good." He says and Zayn raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow, he knows that the usual Liam would be carelessly pulling apart the crappy movie, analysing how each murder was stupidly planned and how the director is a complete _twat_ for releasing it.  
  
But then Liam's wishing Niall a safe journey home and strolling over to his room, and something's wrong.   
  
  
Liam decides to have a shower so he strips his shirt off and switches on the shower, walking back into his bedroom to fetch a towel. But there's a knock on his door, hard and rapid and Liam rolls his eyes.   
  
Zayn smiles crookedly at Liam when he makes himself at home on his bed not minding that he can see the rim of Liam's _Cookie Monster_ boxers on top of his jeans that his mother sent him for Christmas last year.   
  
"Hey, so what's wrong?" Zayn asks cracking his fingers in the obnoxious way that Liam hates.   
  
"Huh?" Liam says, pretending to be utterly clueless but Zayn sees right through it.   
  
"Tonight. What's wrong, you're acting strange mate."  
  
And Liam coughs awkwardly, fumbling through his towel drawer as if looking for something in particular. Zayn however knows Liam inside out, and knows when Liam is trying to avoid something, particularly this exact conversation.   
  
"Dude. Just tell me yeah-," and just to get it over with Liam cuts him off pre-emptively, he's trying to be irrational really.   
  
"I've got a crush on Niall."   
  
And Zayn laughs, that loud laugh you make when you know something you're _not_ supposed to know, and Liam's taken aback gasping loudly because subtlety really isn't his strong point.   
  
It doesn't really help that Zayn then stops laughing, his face turning more stoic and serious.   
  
"Kiss him." He whispers impulsively honest, he steps forward and repeats himself and this is when Liam starts to feel slightly uncomfortable about everything that's happening, but then Zayn is in his face looking pretty serious and Liam's heart is thrumming like a motor.   
  
"I'm serious Li, just kiss him. Go on," he says in a more demanding voice, and if Liam's being truthful he's verging on the edge of losing whatever he's holding back, whether it be tears or anger.   
  
Liam steps back a little and shakes his head quickly like erasing a memory of some sort, takes yet another look at Zayn whose eyes are on fire.   
  
"I'm sorry," he apologises for simply no reason at all, because he can’t take back the fact that he has just admitted to having a crush, _a pretty big one,_ on his best friend’s boyfriend and things like that went let out into the open cannot just be erased. Plus he knows that Zayn is only saying what he is because he’s uneasy about it all, of course it has set him on edge, and it would be the same with anybody else.

 

“It’s up to you. Ask me first, alright?”

 

And then he’s gone, and Liam’s left all alone in the apartment when he hears the shuffling of heavy boots and the front door slam, and if to make matters worse the burden on his shoulder only seems to get heavier and he regrets trying to be brash and admitting it.

 

/

 

Reading has never been a particular habit of Liam’s, rather the opposite really, he absolutely _despised_ the thought of getting vanished in the pages of a book, to lose himself amongst the storyline. Zayn was always the reverse, all through the rather long time they’ve known each other Liam has rarely seen the boy without a dog-eared novel beneath his armpit, so it worries him when he finds himself laying back against the couch with one of those ruffled books in his hand.

 

It’s called _As I lay dying,_ and Liam’s first impression is simple morbidity, he thinks it’s one of those books that has you so lost that you wander around the _black pits of sadness_ as you try to forget, and he humbly knows these words as he’s read a page in Zayn’s school notebook.

 

The first page is a struggle for Liam, he must admit that it finds it hard to focus his concentration on this one thing, the dust floating about amongst the air seems to interest him more, the way it floats in the air and shimmers in the sunlight, and _god_ is he a child.

The door slamming is the last straw though, and he jumps to attention shutting the book against his fingers and fumbling about with it as he debates whether to sit on it or not. But Zayn’s already whistling and wandering into the living room, nonetheless he stills when he sees Liam on the couch not so subtly trying to hide the book as well as stopping the blood rushing to his face.

“Well, well. What have we here,” Zayn drawls dropping his backpack to the floor and smiling like a lunatic, he sits next to Liam crosses his leg and when Liam squirms under his eyes, he pounces his hands scrambling awkwardly under Liam’s thigh as he tries to retrieve the book.

“Oi, what’re you doing with ‘me book,” he crows with a glare that turns into soft laughter as Liam blushes fiercer out of sheer embarrassment, not used to be caught red-handed, he prides himself on not having sticky fingers, _well used to._

Then Zayn’s face clouds over, and Liam opens his mouth to say something because Zayn has just remembered the little tiff they have, he knows that look, seen it before many a times.

He coughs uncomfortably standing up and pretending to brush imaginary dust off of his jeans, walking over to the corner of the room where the book shelf is to slot it back into place, folding the corner just in case Liam decides to read it again sometime soon.

“I think I should, you know?”

And Zayn turns to face him, head shaking.

“I think I should kiss him, get it over with. You know, because in the future I’ll just regret the decision and I’m asking your permission, you can say no, no pressure at all.” Liam says, and Zayn has a feeling he’s choosing his words carefully, because the situation is one that’s pretty messed up and they’re sorting it out in a pretty _messed up way._

“Yeah.” Zayn says quickly, because if later he regrets the decision he’d rather it be because he was thoughtless when he made it, he’d rather he be pretty imprudent that totally sane about the whole thing.

Liam nods, not quite satisfied with everything because on the line here is not just his own selfish mind, or _heart?,_ but a friendship, and most people would throw that away for love any day but Liam has already put every single one of his secrets into Zayn, and a friendship like that cannot just be found on any random street corner.

/

The doorbell rings and Liam’s chest stutter just a little as the breath is finding it a little hard to circulate round his body. He’s been sat on the couch for what seems like days, merely hours really, but when you’re sat that still and trying not to think, your mind goes a little dizzy.

Nialls at the door eyes fluttered shut and smile as wide as it can get displaying a set of dazzling white teeth, and then his hands come up to fumble at his lips as if to make a point, eyes still closed.

“ _oh.”_ He murmurs with a deep blush when he opens his eyes, shimmering a glittery blue which already has Liam on his toes with discomfort, Niall then shrugs exaggeratedly with a soft smile and bite of his lip.

“Thought you were Zayn, sor-,” and Liam lunges forward taking a page out of Zayns book of rationalism to plant a small kiss on Niall’s lips, and he gets shoved back by a hand on his shoulder but he keeps on pressing trying to feel something, _anything._

 But nothing happens.

And Liam decides that solitude is more his way to go. 


End file.
